Will I turn into a Luddite like Dad? I tried to explain to him that this strange thing called the internet brought me my sister (and my brother!) back, but I can see the look in his eye now, and it's hard to defend...the "but where IS everybody?" look. Why are we so far away from each other that we can only connect via electronic blips? Does it really replace "community"? Are we there to help each other move a heavy piece of furniture, fix a meal when we're sick, give a hug, feed the dogs? How can e-mail and this blog replace being surrounded by family? As I told Walt yesterday, quoting Kurt Vonnegut, "You're not enough people!" Peck knew that. Last year, as I drove him down here on his long-wished-for trip to Florida, when he was well past remembering what the reality of the trip was, and we stopped at Don's, he looked at me hard and said, "BUT WHERE IS EVERYBODY?"
"Well, I just e-mailed Nan and she's home and she's fine." was not enough for him. He wasn't buying that for one minute, even when he wasn't sure he remembered exactly which one Nan (or I, for that matter!) was! So we're more than names remembered, or remembrances remembered, or names forgotten. We're presences. We're present or we're not. This is only slightly better than no contact at all.
2 comments:
As usual, Dad "got it," no matter what "it" was. I remember when I told him that Steve and I were splitting up, and he asked where we'd all be. I assured him that I had an apartment, that Steve would find an apartment, ditto for Beth and Zach (Mitch was in New Hampshire with Angie and Cecilia then); and in that sad tone of voice he often had, he answered, "So you're in an apartment, Steve's in an apartment, Beth's in an apartment, Zach's in an apartment...," trailing off to leave unsaid exactly what he knew: that we were a family and should all be together. I can still hear that sadness in his voice, and I feel the futility of it all. Indeed, my sister, "Where is everybody?" For Dad it was simple: "You have a bed right here."
Oh, now I remember that story and it makes me so sad still. :( God, he sure "got it" about sooo much!!
Post a Comment