The time's they are a' changin',

Photograph of a "lifetime calendar"

Our family members are so wonderfully different, one from the other, that I started pondering the role of our genes, our birth order and our environment, and somewhere in my convoluted thought process, I realized that the times in which we live have a pretty profound effect on us, all other things being equal.

Reading Rita's comment about her two younger sisters, I wondered whether the fact that she came of age in the 50s, while Lois and I were products of the 60s, made a big difference. Certainly family roles were better defined in the 50s, and there was, generally speaking, peace and growing prosperity for most families. Societal roles were pretty firmly established, and nobody was asking too many questions. Then along came the decade of rebellion, change and upheaval, and suddenly everything seemed to be up for grabs. While nothing within our family changed dramatically, the outside world was undergoing a seismic shift in the 60s. Women still had one foot on each side of the women's liberation line, preparing for a conventional role in society but hoping for greater opportunity. Unrest was palpable, with major social changes like integration, war protests, women's rights and other forms of dissent. Television brought the landing of a man on the moon, as well as a war fought in a distant jungle, right into our living rooms, alongside westerns, Lawrence Welk and American Bandstand.

I don't think we can defy or deny the influence of the larger world on our outlooks, our expectations and our life experiences. When I think of the changes our parents witnessed, it boggles my mind. But the pace of change increases every decade, so that now we have family members who are scattered like leaves in a fierce wind, all staying in touch in the digital age in a way we never could have envisioned, and next year or the year after that we may think of this medium as quaint. We have to keep reinventing some pretty basic things.

Thankfully, there are things that are timeless, and as we grow older, we are more grateful that not everything changes. We still need love and acceptance, a place to flap our wings and get ready for flight, shelter from the storms of life, a faith that sustains us and, I think, a sense of place -- of belonging. A virtual community is a poor substitute for an actual one, so as much as I enjoy meeting all of you in cyberspace, it kindles an acute longing to see your faces, hear your voices and laughter, hold you close. The changing times won't ever, I hope, change that.


Just some random musings on a cold winter day from somewhere in West Virginia.