Bump those fists, sista's and bro's: I took a virgin run on those fine rollerskates and did not fall, not even once!Okay, okay. So it wasn't roller derby, and I was at the Antietam Battlefields on a sunny and windy March day. The hills weren't steep, but there were hills, and I went both up and down. Once I got my "self" out of the way, the rest of me knew what to do. It was lovely, and my inner thighs, butt and abs thanked me for it by aching for a long while.
Now I've purchased for $3.00 from a local thrift shop the single ugliest sort of athletic suit I've ever laid eyes on: neon bubblegum pink pants with matching jacket, adorned with hideous turquoise and black hibiscus thing-ys. It's "quality," though, with zippers at the ankles and lining and water repellent properties.
See, the way I figure it is this: If anyone who knows Nancy Whalen sees this crazy lady whizzing down the street, wearing those skates, that outfit, and a bike helmet, she or he will never, ever guess that it's Nancy Whalen. Because it's not. It's Nancy Lynn Simpkins. Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty....
6 comments:
C'mon! We deserve a photo of you in those skates and that outfit! Congrats!
This is a freaking awesome development.
I don't think I remember THAT Nancy Simpkins! That new outfit may get you on the front page of your local newspaper!!!!! Just remember Nancy Simpkins was a "young girl" :)
I won't believe this story without an accompanying photo.
Bethy is here, so maybe we can get the photo before sundown. In any case, she HAS seen the hideous outfit AND the skates. Now, she says, I must have pom-poms. But she warned that she would pretend not to know me if I wear the heinous outfit. ;)
you'll have to wear it when i come. which, by the way, will be the last full week in April- the week of the 19th-25th- and unfortunetly there will be no guest...he has to go to CT to visit family.
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